Families Apart

 First and foremost, people can tell flaws in the dating period predict marriage struggles. Which is something we all can gauge during our courtship with others. Reasons to why some marriages does not work, is being selfish, terrible with money, breaking promises, and faithless. We are responsible for your actions, of course it is important to recognize the growth and potential of a person. People just tend to fall for the social connections that creates chemistry. While others tends to have a logical standpoint without feelings. Getting straight to marriage immaturely is not the goal, as it is important for couples to talk about their future. In other words, what is being done when families are being torn apart? From what I've learned, I find the circumstances quite compelling. Situations where either the husband or wife walk away from each other can affect the children significantly. All divorces are huge challenges, they are never easy for anyone. It affects their love ones who are in both sides of the family, especially when families become blended through a marriage. The dynamic, of course, is very different. People find someone else to get marry to each other. At that point, who is making the decisions for the children? Would this affect children positively? Or negatively? In all honesty, it never worked out positively for both parties. It would be best to save the marriage than separating from each other. Most people would say yes, but they sometimes do not know how beneficial it is to do so. People go through changes in the process during the phases of marriage. They might actually find it really hard to stay in a marriage, so it may seem to be easier to go their separate ways. If they had truly realized what marriage truly consists of, then they would be happy with it. The expectations of knowing what the dynamic would be, can change our mindset to go into marriage. It's a beautiful thing to solve problems when things come about. Shifting our priorities to give attentions to things that matters. Changing our nature is key to working together in helping one grow, taking on the focus with each other. In a difficult marriage, one spouse may have one very different focus than the other. One may only want to provide for their family, while the other cares about nurturing their children. Creating some trust issues in supporting each other while in time of crisis. When both parties are exhausted, they tend to shift the blame without any thoughts or consideration because they haven't been on the same page. To me, I know that my relationships with others may rise in conflict due to misunderstandings. Miscommunications is the likely chance of breaking two relationships, bringing contention showing two parties who can care less for each other. As you can tell, I do not endorse ways to get a divorce in any shape or form. The Savior has answered this concern with why separate when you have done so this far? The purpose is to work things out because you've made the decision to do so when you were committed. That's why people should be aware of what marriage actually is, getting a divorce is mostly not the answer. The way to avoid it, is to make the best choice in marrying someone who will keep those commitments to you! Marriage is about everlasting, to be with each other for all eternity. You are together because you want to be together. Separating is not the goal, since it can be devastating not only to you. But also to everyone you may know in your life. 

 

Behaviors

In light of recent events, I’ve had the opportunity to learn about behaviors and needs. All of us has a need for contact and belonging, especially for children. We need that through all of our lives. To feel important and know that individually we matter. When we are young, we are attention seekers. When I was younger, I noticed how annoying I was to my cousins and parents. I offered contact freely and wanted to be recognized freely. It made sense to talk to me since I was wanting to be more involve more. I also get attention by working or helping my mom around the house. The second need was power, the ability to have choices they can make. In order to help them understand the consequences that goes with their choices. This is how people develop and grow into the person they’re going to be. Kids sometimes needs to know how controlling will not have a peaceful standing. We all need protection from emotional and physical harm. Knowing this information has changed lives from one to another. The combination of asserting ourselves to open up our feelings and forgiveness . We need to use a form of seeking protection. It’s takes quite the courage to do so. We learn to get rid of grudges and terrible feeling that may come. And that’s how it works, people get caught up to doubts and getting out the box. People spend a lot of time to withdraw by playing video games and doing only in door activities. Ultimately, we all have the need of challenges. We learn by overcoming obstacles and feeling good to accomplish the best things we know it’s real. We often try to do so, by how tall or big we can make something. Stretching our abilities to get the best out of us. Either in video games or through activities that may be fun. I play video games that has challenges within them. This encourages skill buildings, the effort people put in is what they want to challenge themselves to. Even today, college is what I consider a challenge today. It’s not something I have to do, but it’s to push myself with great effort. College is not hard, and I am looking for adventure. We can be so driven by wanting to have a journey, that we can actually become obsessed about things. I also believe in how we should respond to circumstances in our lives, since it can be detrimental to us. In our younger years, we are also vulnerable by giving up. We all have the struggle to go through tough times, and that can be walls instead of obstacles to overcome. Our conviction can be awaken at a young age. That’s up to us when our agency in place, learning about our plan and principles we live by. I’ve noticed how I was trouble with behavioral issues when tough times hits. A solution we can learn is addressing the problems. All of us will have challenges come before us, we can handle it with our attitude. We may not solve problem with behaviors, we should ask ourselves if this is something we need to change. Do I need to change? Or do we? All of us need to have discussion on a regular basis. We want to allow natural consequences in order for them to be taught. Especially social situations, letting them have experiences rather than being told what is appropriate. In exceptions to dangerous activities where they can potentially hurt themselves. Another dangerous situation is by letting an immature teenager make a decision about life. Realizing this, I was not making the best decisions during those years. It’s quite embarrassing to actually even remind myself of those experiences. Sometimes things don’t go the way they want it to go. Teaching teenagers the skills to do so in discussions is key to learning. A person with an experience is never at the mercy with someone with an opinion.

Finance

One of the strongest tension that goes on today in many people's lives and how it has affects our lives and how to manage it. It takes discipline to understand and living with finances. There is a strong connections between marriage and finance, ultimately problems arises from being financial instability. There's tons of studies found that may say otherwise, as people are in conflict with each other, it depends on how both parties cooperate. It is the goal to put in the effort with finances and what needs to be done be done as soon as possible. Likely putting on the stress to how luxurious things you can live on. With that, people already should know that we would not truly be happy on the materialistic things. It is our relationship with money that makes the difference. If we have not dealt or learn about money, can be detrimental. Both men and woman have their own needs and wants that drives them to use money in a certain. Prioritizing can mean differently to individuals. It may change people's situation drastically when people are under pressure. Another way to do it, is to keep emotions and money separately. That's where divorce and straining relationships comes in. People judge each other based on how un responsible we might be. Other things should be consider like insurance and mortgages that drives people to have tight resources. If anyone is going to get through financial instability, it is the teamwork that will help people push through their struggles. Not to forget to mention how budgeting will save not only money, but a lot more problems that may rise without it. We have to work over our baggage with bad habits, teaching one another to avoid future problems with money. It is not just about you personally when it comes to saving money. My parents who are close with each other are due to how they operate as a team. Instead of an individual decision, it should be a 'we' decision. Trusts comes into play when a couple is happy enough with their financial decisions. That means communication is key to making sure they're on the same page and making commitments that takes convictions. This creates opportunities to be open thoughtfully that brings two people together. People can say that it is similar to parenting, as to what they want in their child and making it happen. Your lifestyle change by their focus and determination, mainly what do they want in their life. It is good to love in the service of others, to share the things we have with each other. Sharing things have power that brings humility, which can stem from obedience in the rules that we commit to live by. Avoidance is an unstable way of doing it as people leave their families to be in a terrible place. Selfishness takes place and ruins relationships of trust. Addressing the issue will help people come closer. People care about each other when they are a couple, when they do care they become much more frugal due to them being mindful about situations. We all make decisions based on our love and beliefs. Of course people may say that it's patriarchal, I see it as a way to progress in life. Those trials are there to benefits us to work together, counseling each other to drive away concerns. Bringing people together at best maybe once a week, giving time to each other and bond in a different way. A new way that has people reaches new grounds. All in all, it is about what's important in our lives that can bring true success. Sufficient for our needs is important. 

Communications and How it is use

There are 3 obvious channels of communications, which are the words we use, non verbal, and the tomes. Communications worked under these level as a way that help us receive that capacity we need in order to understand each other. To start with words, only 14 percent are being actually received. I have realize this because I really don't remember any words in the order that was spoken to me. People would say things and we would generalize what was said by them. We can only check again with that person we talked to. The most misunderstood channel is the non verbal communications. Sometime we might do something that might anger someone. And the worst part about it, is that we wouldn't even know it. People who recieve this part of the conversation, may be in a place that are not good. So they could believe things that are not true based on the things being done around them. I had an experience where my cousin was mad at me for the longest time. I did not know what I was doing wrong until she started to yell at me. Apparently I was coming off pretty distant while doing my chores. I wasn't as enthusiastic as I usually was and she thought that I just not enjoying the moments we're together. That's when empathy becomes a big part of my life where I was able to understand. When someone is having a rough time with anything, the learn trait of listening can take awhile to develop. To truly communicate, you need to be able to listen as well. Listening can be misinterpret by just solving their problem rather than trying to see their perspective. It requires humility to have the best intentions. It's not about you when you are actually listening, it brought me to become better to talk to. Easy to communicate in a way that allows people to be open with you. With that, you gain the ability of empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Of course, we all know sharing our feelings is easier said than done. Another thing I wanna talk about, is sarcasm. I've wondered how sarcasm has effected us in our daily lives. We use this type of language for fun and it may be a way for people to get along. But it's actually corruptible in a way that it's not quite edifying. You may say certain things with truth or a lie. Sarcasm in a truth brings doubts to the person that uses it. In a lie, it brings an empty feeling that potentially divide people apart. The way we communicate with each other should not contain any bitterness. I know we all have our own flaws in the way we communicate, but that can be change with an act of love. Showing people that we care everyday and getting rid of unnecessary fluffs in our lives. It's a beautiful thing to show love than to criticize. When we love someone, we tell them to change in order to be better. Not to simply point put their flaws so that they know, but it is to lift. Using a sharp toung every now and then will help people become motivated. But it can only truly be good if it's out of love. The Spirit teaches us to know good and evil with the experience we go through as we get older in our lives. It may not be a big deal, and so there are things that doesn't need to be a big deal. Some trivial things are fought over, and it goes deeper than the surface. Love is the answer as it is primarily said, anger is not as it is expressed more in today's world.

Overcoming stress

One of the biggest things in life we go through, is the perception of danger. Recently I have noticed somethings about stress and how it develops over perceiving danger. For example, when we decide to watch a scary movie, people tend to curl up, grabbing a pillow or blanket and keeping your feet up close to you because you're scare. Is this a healthy response? Well absolutely! We learn that it's good to have anxiety since it is a natural process we have as human beings. Many times, people believe that there's something wrong with them. Being anxious or nervous has been looked down upon in many society. Freaking out isn't something that's attractive for obvious reasons. But it can and has save lives when we are in specific danger. We receive a perception in response to danger, and that creates an opening of thoughts putting us in survival mode. In the moment, people may not be able to make clear decisions in order for them to get out of it. It'll come when it is a fight or flight, we learn it by being push to a corner that'll force us to act for those moments. These situations are crucial to survival as a person, we learn what is dangerous by experiences. It may be scary, but that is how we operate and built. Honestly, if there's anyone out there who does not have some kind of fear, I would seriously be worry for them. There's no way they can overcome the difficult times. The matter of growth is of most importance that brings us to overcome our stepping stones. Not only to help others in the future, but it's also just our entire life we should be able to go through. Faith is the driving force of our lives that can make a huge difference. When panic attacks happens more than once, people can counteract from experience by naturally knowing how to handle it. Don't get me wrong, there are negative affects that occurs when these types of emotions comes into. When we begin to process what is real, we can question our self worth and what we should do in a crisis situation. Am I in trouble? Is there anything I can do? Can I actually do this? Questions like these are seen as insecure, but what if we can answer them with confidence? Will the outcome be something completely phenomenon? In my experience, yes absolutely! When I decided to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, There was a ton of insecurities that consists of doubts, anxieties, fear and perception of danger. I was wondering how I was gonna survive when it comes to my parents forbidding me to join the church and going on a mission. Besides knowing the scriptures, I was put into fight or flight. It was a spiritual experience that drove me to be better and greater than who I was before. Those emotions I felt at the time gave me peace now because of how I was developed to struggle with these struggles. The trials were there to show me what I can do in terms of being spiritual. Knowing this, I actually enjoyed my experiences and am glad that it happened. I would've missed out all the friends and adventures I obtained, not knowing who I would become today.  Having anxiety can be tough in moments of despair, but oddly I feel like we should be proud for it. It makes us become the person we need to be as we grow older. With all said and done, there is no need to feel shame when these emotions become a part of our lives. 

How have pornography impacted our society

 This is a common issue we currently have in the world. The problem arises when people don't realize how terrible it has done to our world. Growing up and going to school in Texas, the view of pornography was something the youth engages in. Knowing this now made me understand their actions. It is what drives us to making poor decisions. It makes a person become delusional due to the visuals that can be stuck in your mind. Lust is truly something we cannot underestimate, ultimately distort our reality when it comes to really loving another. Within a marriage, people may come into it with those kind of baggage. Does it help? No! That is no way to be intimate with your spouse, especially when you create someone who isn't real. Porn demeans people for who they really are. Another big thing to avoid is having unrealistic expectations. Their partner will never be as ideals, never really giving us true joy. I've had met people who only pursue on sexual arousal. People involves themselves in adultery with false ideas that their marriage isn't working for them. I can't tell enough how disappointed people are when they actually go through these problem. Taking back to the beginning, people does not understand how horrifying it can be. It gets worse in circumstances and situations, leading us to do things that contradicts our morals and beliefs. Keeping clear boundaries is important since we are still tempted with many things. At the same time, having an open mind to know your weakness can help you stay alert. Being true to who we set to be is crucial. Taking us far in resisting the act that might actually follows up with another bad decision. Keeping us safe from the scars that might hinder our future choices. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ, my covenants has been the foundations that's hold me strong. My relationship with people and with the Savior has kept me away from pornography. When I know what is more important to me, I make the choice to keep or sacrifice. We can't have both good and evil, we stand on one side. We should not even relate to people in a sexual way. Committing the act is obviously bad, but to start something that can ignite passion may lead us astray to doing something we regret. This is a promise people should make to the lord to not even look at a woman with lust, especially your spouse. It is not hard to have virtue, we won't have secrets to keep in any relationship. The struggles comes when we are hiding porn in our lives. we becomes ashamed of the enjoyment. We have to ask the question if we wanna go through that in our lives. And really, it's not worth the life that was given to us. Strict rules against porn will help us stand our grounds. Strong influences comes from lust, so make the change if need so. Your mind needs to be in good health too as well as your body. There is no need to have those damages in our life when you have righteous beliefs. It is so easy to be light minded, being alert at all time is important. We have to watch what we see in our world. I might not even feel guilty about some of these things. Ultimately, there's no excuse for anyone who have build up safeguards. Especially people who made covenants within the church. Overall, everyone who has been involve in pornography is in need to be forgiven. That doesn't mean you should marry them. They are just not ready for marriage. Our habits speaks louder than letting people have the knowledge. There are areas we must overcome in order to have true stability. Let's strive to be the best in ourselves rather than being a part of a culture currently in place.  

Transitions Points in Marriage

 Courtship, engagement, marriage, children are all phases in a relationship couples go through together if they are willing to take on. Most of us will ask if we are going to be ready for these events in our lives. Wondering if we're going to be prepare for these commitments. To start, courtship is simply dating and getting to know each other at a beginning of a relationship. Not so committed, but enjoy the company while building a relationship. Next is the engagement, this phase of commitment ensures that you are seeing a person individually and putting fences up to any other potential relationship. People make this decision as a preparation to cohabit with each other. It is an actually transition to a life where people make choices to what they will do in the future to make it work. Years ago, it is common for a gentlemen for man to commit himself completely. Asking a woman out of the blue without discussion to marry them. Compare to today, couples would have deep and throughout conversations before they commit to marriage. This kind of engagement has changed over the years and the woman are more likely to bring up marriage than the males. There's data that also suggest in a difficult part of marriage, the woman would overcome when she remembers the early part of their marriage where the husband was completely committed and would do anything for her. Her memories are quite fond of what the husband showed in the past. Another part about engagement, is the planning part of it. How can you merge your life together and what might be some things you need to sacrifice. Two lanes merging to make one may be simple, but there are factors like money, time, work, furnishes, etc. Boundaries are drawn with huge decisions to make as part of their engagement. How much one person be talking to their exes, families, friends, showing how committed they should be in order to make things work out for each other. As far as boundaries, people need to know that problems will not be solve in a marriage. People need to address their problems, so that it won't come up later in marriage. Everyone has their own kind of baggage they each have, we have to ask ourselves if we're able to work through it with our significant others. Another part of marriage people may seem to take on, is a type of contract. While you are engage or in marriage, people creates some binding rules that played into boundaries. While I give this and you give this is part of a contract, covenants is also a contract. But it is set by a higher authority where it is much more powerful with the connections that involves it. Not only committed to each other, but a commitment to God or even to a community. In some ways, couples who have children are in some ways in a contract with each other. They would feel obligated to stay, more so for raising their kids. People feel like that's what they owed because of the situation. Vice versa with the child where they are making the decisions with their parents. Overall, I feel like people just needs to be committed to what people decide to do. Are we going to do the things we said we're gonna do and keep them. What will make of us if we don't take on responsibilities. The blessings are waiting and wanted, how much are we all willing to commit and love each other. I personally need to know what I would be
committed to. Be logical and find out what will be beneficial in the grand scheme of our lives. Not say we won't make mistakes, we will and was it planned. Or do you need to plan then? Provide the needed support for the bridges that's been created.